Im spending tonight in feeling super sorry for myself, I feel so ill. I’ve had a pretty live week, and I’m a little far too buzzed to care what people think. This morning I woke up and felt like I’d be hit by a train… I tried to move my legs or role over and I couldn’t feel anything. I went to metal night at one of Croydons most known nights out, The Black Sheep bar with random girls who once their drunk are pretty much annoying and despite being anything but ‘brutal’ anymore, I had a really awesome night. Spent far too much money, and because we were all so drunk or buzzed we were moshing and I even started two stepping to take the piss a little bit more haha… oh dear ! I have the worlds worst chest infection, and the fact I smoked weed all day my first week back home hasn’t helped really, seriously I’ve been coughing so much that I throw up… however ‘Im not sure wether I was sick this morning because I have been feeling rundown or what. I’ve got so much to do next week,but fuck it I’m gonna read, listen to Frank Sinatra and read Women by Bukowski. I’ve had a lot on my mind this week, and I’ve decided I need to have a break from over analyzing everything, hopefully a few weeks because I’m sick of waking up feeling unfulfilled.
If you care about something let it go if it comes back it’s yours if it doesn’t it was never meant to be. I am done of waking up everyday at 11 exactly waiting for that Good Morning text from her. It’s not coming so why wait. Going to some place called Fuse tonight I’m sure ill have a story to tell later.
so…i bought this book along with others yesterday for 16 dollars and i can assure you it is a complete waste of money. this book is of no help for insomnia it consist of nothing but quotes about insomnia and the same topic for every page “Why can’t you sleep tonight?”
I literally just spent 20 minutes writing “Because i just can’t” over and over again until the page was full and no i will not actually go into thought about why I possibly can’t sleep. I am just going to sit here and look online for more horror films to watch until one actually scares the shit out of me.
Night.